The Place I Come From

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I walked an emotionally treacherous path. I faced the pitfalls of delusion. What others did not undo for me, I undid myself. I entered this life with the markings of strife. I lived the desolate plains of empty-heartedness and disillusionment. For a long, long while, the fragility of childhood stood little chance against the insidious fatalism of adulthood. Subtly and persistently does adulthood squeeze and crack the promise of infinite possibilities, remarkable potentials, the vision of multi-dimensions, the courage to announce that anything and everything is possible intrinsic to the unique and phenomenal existence of childhood. It takes just over a decade to fully establish the notion that humanity may not be so worthy after all.

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To find the potential for heaven, the potential and actualities of hell came first. It was a living hell measured not by the tragedies of the 6 o’clock news, but by the agony and torture sustained by this broken heart. It may not have been the hell of others, but it was the hellish anguish of heavy shoulders, an obsessively frazzled mind, a tight chest, weary motivation to act, and tragically ignorant helplessness in the role of events and circumstances. I marched on desperately searching for an answer, yet compulsively and skillfully swimming the murky waters of self-inflicted harm. Because no answer would come fast enough, I embarked on a trip  to even greater depths of hell. If the current dismal condition had not inspired sufficient motivation to positive action, then the purposeful and continued neglect and abuse of this existence just might do the trick. Some hopeless action finally did the trick.

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Far beneath the victimhood, a small voice with a powerful will to live called out to the vast expanse we call space. As I recall now, my eyes often glanced at the sky, my pen and paper often expressed a latent strength and courage, my “blind” wandering bumped me into people that led me down a new, promising door. My gift from heaven was a torch of light and hope and a sword of wisdom and knowledge. I was not to know for many years, and even fervishly reject the idea that there was any life purpose reserved for this existence of destructiveness and erroneous thinking. In consideration of what I see and understand, of the learning presented before me, of the experiences which take shape, of the fruits of joy and peace of which I partake, of my grand opportunity to share with you today that this story of triumph belongs to you, it is written across the fabric of heaven that on we march to an evolution of world change, of a perfect world order.

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